Apology & Forgiveness
Truth is we all stumble, fall, make mistakes-large and small. We are human-this is part of the experience of growing & learning.
It takes courage, humility and self honesty to face our shortcomings with ourselves and others.
But the upside is well worth it. The peace of a clear heart & conscious releases us of many heavy burdening aliments of Mind-Body-Spirit such as
- Anxiety
- Regrets
- Guilt & Shame
- Envy & Dissatisfaction
- Resentment & Resistance
- Anger
- Depression/Sadness
- Loneliness
- Embarrassment
- Righteousness & Judgement
And it opens the door to more
- Light heartedness
- Compassion
- Contentment
- Peace of Mind & Heart
- Deeper connections with Self & Others
- Personal Evolution/Self Awareness
- Love
- Hopefulness
- Flow of all good things
- Balance of Mind-Body-Spirit
- Increased Energy
So, how do we access all this goodness and release the toxic energy? Here are a few ideas to consider to help you lighten your load and spring clean your conscious via the joint efforts & effects of Apology & Forgiveness.
- Admit-Accept Responsibility-to yourself
- Acknowledge the error (vs deny) of acting against joint agreements, values and or the feelings/expectations of another person
- You cannot change what you do not acknowledge
- Take responsibility in causing damage to another
- Identify the choices you made and the responsibility you have
2. Learn the Lessons
- Understand what you did wrong
- Understand why you did it-motivations, beliefs, fears, hurts-otherwise good chance you will do it again
- Accurately evaluate your behaviour-this may take time and space and even a third party to help you understand.
- Ask yourself how could you have handled it differently?
- What have you learnt about yourself, them, life?
- No matter what we have done there is a reason and lessons to learn-take the time to discover both. Then you avoid the pain of the same lessons resurfacing in the future.
3. Forgive Yourself
- You can’t control if another will forgive you but you can control forgiving yourself.
- As you take the time to process your level of responsibility in a situation, the how it happened, why it happened etc. it gets easier to have compassion for yourself.
4. Apologize Genuinely, Ask for Forgiveness, Make Amends
- Language to them that you realize you have harmed, hurt or offended them.
- Be sincere-look them in the eyes. Be heartfelt in your apology-say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness.
- Do not interject an excuse here-it only sours the apology.
- Resolve to them to improve and avoid the mistake in the future.
- Ask the person what can I do to make it right?
- Or explain how you would like to make it right and ask for their insights too
5. Modify Behaviour-Make it Right in Action
- If you come this far but don’t change your ways-then what value is in it? Weave the benefits of the lessons learnt into your mindset and actions.
- You might want to check in with the person and ask how they are feeling about the changes you are making/have made.
6. Move Forward more Compassionately & Wiser
- Let go of the incident-the sting, the bitterness but retain the learning
- Not about condoning a behaviour but about accepting our humanity and others so that we can learn and grow.
- Pain, life lessons, hurts all have gifts in them no matter how poorly wrapped they arrive sometimes.
Perhaps we are all just doing the best that we can, given what we know, the circumstances we find ourselves in and who we are at any point in time?
Enjoy the spring cleaning of your conscious, keep your heart open & put your smile back on!